Wednesday, January 29, 2014

11 Again

      
Me at 9
Imagine me, at 11 years old, somewhere between these (^v) two ages.
Me at 13
                           

Ah, the pre-pubescent years. I am glad they are over.

That was the age when I first started liking boys. The guy I liked was 6 years older than me. Talking to him scared me and mentioning his name made me blush. "Flirting" was out of the question (and was a question--I had no idea what flirting even meant, and to be honest, I still don't).

Unfortunately, I'm also describing myself now, 7 years later. A majority of guys that I meet are at least 4 years older than I. I feel like a little kid compared to them. I AM a little kid. What's even more annoying is that often these older guys are really cool. Mature, smart, funny, etc. I hate when I find myself crushing on someone who's 25 because I feel 11 again, inexperienced, nervous, and without a doubt much too young.

#collegeprobs

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Blessings


I like word definitions.

"The verb bless comes from Old English blēdsian/blētsian, 'to bless, wish happiness, consecrate.'"

My favorite part of that is "to wish happiness." It makes blessings sound so simple and loving.

They are.

We have a loving Father in heaven. What He wants to do more than anything is bless us. 
The apostle Jeffrey R. Holland said this in April 2013:
"Surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it."

I love the image that gives me of God--not wrathful, angry, or scary. He just wants to bless His children. However, there are rules set in place before this world was created that limit what He can do:

D&C 130:20-21:
"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated — And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."

In order to be blessed, we have to be obedient. King Benjamin puts it so eloquently in Mosiah 2:

"He doth require that ye should do as He hath commanded you; for which if ye do, He doth immediately bless you; and therefore He hath paid you."

All we need to do is obey His commandments and then we get "paid" with blessings. Seems like everyone would want to be totally obedient, right? Because heaven's gifts are the best kind?

Unfortunately, this is not the case.


"O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!"

Something that breaks my heart more than anything else is seeing someone (especially people who I love) go against all the things they've been taught. I know it's not easy or fun or cool to keep good standards. It's hard. I always try to keep the commandments and sometimes it's unexciting, lonely, and just plain boring. I keep doing it, because I know I should, but sometimes I feel like there's no point. However, I know people, people I care very strongly about, who've done that--given up on some of the rules. The aftermath is torturous. It may not come quickly. It may take a month, a year, or a decade, but when the consequence hits, it's a million times worse than the feeling of "just plain boring."

Here's a list of a few of the blessings I've received because of obedience:

1. I get to go to the temple and perform work for those who can't do it themselves
2. The company of the Holy Ghost
3. Having enough money for my needs as a student
4. Confidence in important decisions I made with the help of the Spirit
5. Good health
6. Ability to perform in school, even when it was really hard
7. Emotional fortitude 
8. Tender mercies
9. Cool opportunities
10. Joy

To those of you who are choosing the right, keep on truckin'. Sometimes that's all you can do.

 "Lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever."

To people who may be struggling with rules, family, school, work, money, life in general--and I think we all are, in some degree--remember that God loves you. It sounds cliche, but it's still dang true! Help will come if you ask. It may not be in the way you expect or even notice, but don't let that feed your doubt. Do your best and try to keep the faith. 

Mistakes--we've all made them--can be removed fully and completely through repentance. Don't think you're not worthy to pray or ask for help because we all fall short. Remember, God loves to bless those who feel they don't deserve it, and honestly, none of us do but we are all fortunate to have a merciful Savior. I know He lives and will forgive and heal anyone who asks.

                                                 


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

In Defense of the Boy Crazy

I've been accused on many occasions of being boy crazy. This blog post goes out to all my fellow girls who've been accused of the same thing

Let's break this down.


Boy: Noun. 1: A male child. 2: A young man.


Crazy: Adjective 1. Mentally deranged, esp. as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.

2. extremely enthusiastic.


I think we should use the second definition for both words. Using the first would make anyone sound creepy.


Extremely enthusiastic about young men.

I get told that I'm extremely enthusiastic about young men for a few reasons, mainly: a) I talk about boys pretty often, b) I flirt and c) I like to go on dates (don't we all?) and have been known to say, "I want a boyfriend."

Is that really so extreme? Is it "being in or attaining the highest degree; very intense"? Not exactly. Especially considering a few important factors:


1. I'm a girl. Girls like boys. Weird.

2. I'm at an age where dating/courting are in my not-so-distant future.
3. (And this is the most important one) When almost ANYONE asks me about my life, be it my grandpa, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, bishop, or roommate, one of the questions they ask is almost 95.67% guaranteed to be: "How's your boy life?" "Are you dating anyone?" "All those boys up in Idaho are chasing after you, aren't they?" "How are you feeling about marriage?" (That one was my bishop) "Do you like anyone?"

Me:

......



I really am making this face, by the way.





















You know the saying "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer"? The same principle applies here. When 95.67% of people ask about boys, is it really so surprising that I TALK ABOUT BOYS? 


If you find it crazy or extreme that I often discuss something that people often inquire about, then you need to revamp your craze-o-meter. 


Don't get me wrong, I know I talk a lot. Trust me, it probably bugs me more than it bugs you. But don't go judging--I like boys just as much as the next girl. I just talk about it a bit more than she does.


So next time you see me or any other girl you've thought to be overly obsessed with boys, try asking us something like: "Tell me what you learned in church this week!" or "What do you like about work?" or "Why did you choose the major you did?" 


If you REALLY wanna see me get excited (way more than I do about boys), ask me to tell you the muscles of the upper limb, or the sequence of events involved in flexing a muscle, starting at axon hillock of the motor neuron. Then you will see something "being in or attaining the highest degree; very intense."




Sunday, January 19, 2014

Why I Love Going to the Gym



Good news, folks.

I got a gym membership! Lucky for me, some eager associate at Gold's called me yesterday. I'd spoken with him about a membership last week but hadn't ever gone to sign up. He told me about a great deal they had going on and I went in and signed up that afternoon. I'm soo excited and happy to once again have a gym to attend.
People who know me know that I rarely miss go more than a day without working out. But I wasn't always like this... 

Flashback:
Me, ages 14-16: I don't like exercising. I hate cheesy workout videos, running gives me extremely sore knees and shins and ankles and pilates/yoga requires too much...bleh.
So I didn't exercise much...Much meaning basically ever. I definitely wasn't fat, but I wasn't toned. I did ballet once a week and that's about it.

Summer 2012: My mom gave me a guest pass to Fitness 19 and told me to try it out. I only did the bike, elliptical, and treadmill, but I liked it. I went to the gym til the week pass ran out and then signed up for a membership and never stopped going. I became a total gym rat.


I go to the gym 6 days a week. But this doesn't meant I'm a swimsuit model. I lift, run, bike, do abs, back, squat, etc. Because I don't push myself crazy hard, I don't get insane results. Also, I really really like food. (: The reason I go isn't to look hot/skinny/etc. I go because it makes me happy. Exercise is addicting. The warm fuzzy feeling I get in my muscles after a good run or a relaxing stretch is totally awesome. THAT'S why I exercise every day. So if you're going and not turning into the next Victoria's Secret Angel or Abercrombie model, don't worry about it! 


I thought that gyms were kinda dumb..If you have a treadmill and weights at home, why would you spend money to work out in public?
It's weird, but when I'm around people, I feel this weird...obligation to do a good workout. I know they're not watching me, but because they're there, I lift heavier, higher reps, and run longer. It's like an awesome unspoken peer pressure. 

People, exercise is awesome. It's good for your heart, bones, muscles, and mental health. I highly recommend going at LEAST 3 times a week. Don't worry if you can't deadlift 200 pounds or run a 5-minute mile. Just start where you are and don't give up. 
 

PS: ...If you need a workout buddy, text me. (:

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

"That Pizza is Just Me in Another Life--Defying Social Norms, One Slice At a Time"

Hey guys. (:
I'm sorry about the weird background color! I CAN'T FIX IT. Whatever.

Remember how I was sick?
Me too. It was pretty miserable. A short time after I posted 'sick day,' I texted my brother and asked him if he could give me a blessing. I felt horrible--I was burning hot and freezing cold and I pulled a muscle turning over in bed (really, I did. It still hurts when I press on it. It's probably my left transverse abdominis, if you were wondering).
Anyway, he came over to my house and gave me a wonderful blessing that had all kinds of counsel that I REALLY needed to hear. I gave him a hug and even *he* could feel how warm I was. He stayed and talked to me for a while and about 30 minutes later, I texted him to tell him my fever was all the way gone! I love the Priesthood! #Miracles

Because I felt better, I started working on my taxes for 2013. Hate. But I was glad to get something done, considering how unproductive I'd been for a large portion of the day. I felt very grown up. (: (From Throwin' Up to Growin' Up: One Woman's Journey Through the 12-Hour Virus that the World Couldn't Forget<---I don't know where that came from).

My ward is WAY OLD. Seriously. They all have Master's Degrees. One of the girls has been teaching elementary school since she was 19!! WHOA. I'm basically..really young. It's cool though.

I walked around Provo a lot on Monday, looking for work and not really trying that hard because I only passed like 2 kinds of businesses: REALLY authentic foreign restaurants, and banks. Which at neither could I likely work (IDK if that was grammatically correct but I didn't want a dangling preposition). I was going to go to this tax class and learn how to be a tax preparer, but within less than an hour, I know that this job was NOT right for me and happily left the class and went to the ICE CASTLES for FHE! Wooohoo!

Random couple sitting all over the good lighting

OLAF! Yay. (:


My ward does cool (pun intended) activities.

The job hunt is maybe going well. I had an interview today and I'm hopeful about it. Fingers crossed!

I went to Carraba's to see my sister (she works there) and got a free Italian soda--Raspberry/Vanilla--AND a free brownie/mousse-y/whipped creamy thing! SO GOOD. I ate the leftovers for breakfast this morning. I felt a bit rebellious. But in a delicious way.

Two more things--I know this post is getting long. 

I watched an old chick flick--Sabrina. It has Harrison Ford in it, so you know it's good. I must be in a weird mood or something because I CRIED at one point!! GONK. It was in some cheesy romantic scene where he was telling the girl that she was the most beautiful woman and he'd always thought she was awesome...Something like that. I have no idea why it made me emotional! I might be going crazy.

I got on Facebook and my old (awesome) hometeacher had messaged me and we started talking and somehow got on the topic of...Me. He told me I was a "bubbly, #, etc., kind of girl." Ladies and gentlemen, he used "#" to describe me. Life=made.

But he was telling me that "[my] personality and [my] ability are socially contradictory." We then kind of analyzed (over FB chat, lol) why I don't act like a straight-A, responsible, mature person "should" act (in the eyes of society. I summarized his analysis with these words: "I seem like I'm this flirty, blond-ish, girly, giggly, preppy 17yrold that's just smiley and airheady, but when you actually talk to me, I get straight As, I love the Gospel, and I'm actually really real and not stupid."

And this is the reason I gave him as to why I'm..Becca: "I act how I want, not how I think I should act..there's not a reason. I'm me, I guess. Society's idea of how a 'smart person' should act is kinda...dumb. Just because I like learning doesn't mean I can't be silly and say things like "stahp" and hashtag stuff and flirt with boys. That's just how everyone's been socialized to think."

Then I sent him a link to this beautiful pizza:
 
That's where my title came into the conversation. He told me that what I said sounded like the title of my next blog. And so it was.
This one's for you, Isaac.

Goodnight, my minions. Have a totes fab day. And do what you want--don't listen to social norms. That's way too predictable



Saturday, January 11, 2014

sick day





im writing with one hand cuz im so groggy i dont want to sit up. #lazylevel789

im sick. :( i threw up last night and can i tell you how much i HATE THROWING UP.
A LOT. that's how much i hate it. Mucho hate-o.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG4ZK4DIXJA)
well now im lying in bed, writing a low energy blog post without even capitalizing stuff. wow.
today hasnt been great, and not just bcuz im sick. i didnt get the job i really wanted. things look bleak from where im standing. prayers would be appreciated.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Wardrobe Musings

I realized a few things today while I packed my bags for my flight.
I'm a creature of habit.

And by habit, I mean a limited affinity for differing clothing colors. I have entirely too many blue shirts. 

That's only the stuff that I brought to NC. There's probably more of these little guys lurking in my suitcases back in Utah. Geez louise. 
I also own a vast amount of black. I could wear it all at once and look like some weird artist person (and I'm not saying I haven't done this in the past).

Something else I learned while packing is that I may appear girly or something...but I'm not obsessed with clothes. I have like 4 scarves. That's the extent of my accessorizing. I rarely match--I own so much black so I don't have to think about trying to. I've owned a large portion of my clothes since I was like...14. NOT exaggerating. I haven't really grown much in the last few years so I don't have to buy something new unless it gets sweat stained or I just start to hate it.

I've heard from more than one person that I seem like I'm a diva, but this is the falsest. I'll put on mascara and take my hair out of a bun every once in a while, but I'm NOT one to spend hours and a lot of money at the mall in order to look good. #FatChance

I'm happiest in what I'm wearing right now--a baggy sweater, a pair of socks and my favorite basketball shorts (they have POCKETS! YAY!) with no makeup and hair tossed into a sideways ponytail. And generally, I don't even want to get dressed for class or church or...anything. My 18yrold driver's license picture is the ratchet-est. I'm not even wearing make-up. It's disgusting..ask me to show you sometime.

I still own wayyyy too many clothes, though...Come borrow something sometime. I'm happy to lend.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Manifest Destiny

I think Manifest Destiny is what some president/political person called the mission/responsibility of the citizens of the United Stated to move towards and populate in the direction of the Western seaboard.

It's also what I call my almost-annual flight from good ol' Raleigh, NC to Salt Lake City, UT. I love the South, southern people, fried food, Yes Ma'am and No Sir and biscuits and gravy. But the West has its charms too. Mainly, my university and my older siblings...both of which I like to be near.

I'm flying out in less than two days and starting what is (hopefully) my first and last off-track semester between now and graduating with my Associate's of Science in Nursing degree next December. I'm a hipster, and moving back in with my parents is just too mainstream, so I'm going to be in Provo until school starts again in April.

Provo. 

Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing this..but then I think, "Dude. Provo is gonna be SO FUN. Freaking BYU and all its little students, plus free room and board and being a mile from two of my older siblings' apartments? Ummm.. JAY-EHS (That means 'yes').

So this adventure is about to begin. The job searching/interviewing/hoping/praying will be starting very soon and maybe I'll be way too busy to ever post anything on this blog again...but I doubt it.

I'm doing a blog for no reason at all besides the fact that I like writing, and this semester will be fairly empty of writing, save for the fact that I started a blog. Random? Yeah. But #whatevs.

Peace out. (:

PS I cut my hair. (: