What do this:
and this:
have in common?
A few months ago, I participated in a class discussion in church about families. We talked how husbands and wives rely on each other for support, comfort, and love. As the discussion was closing, I had a small epiphany, which I had the opportunity to discuss with a friend later that evening.
This is what had popped into my mind:
Evil robot running around the city, wreaking havoc. Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl on the sidewalk, arguing about the impending battle:
Mr. Incredible: "...I'm not s-strong enough."
Elastigirl:"If we work together, you won't have to be."
It's a simple but still very important principle. As an individual, it is very difficult to raise, protect, provide for, and take care of a family. One person--mom or dad--would have a hard time doing it by themselves. There are single parents all over the world who somehow manage to juggle it all, but it's not an easy task in any sense of the word.
However, for those who are married, who do have the blessing of a teammate, co-council, and partner in raising the kids, taking care of the house, doing the shopping, helping with homework, making meals, etc, should remember two things: 1) You don't have to go at it alone, so never consider yourself weak if you ask for help, and 2) Your spouse doesn't have to do it alone, either, so always always offer to help and do all you can when they ask for your assistance. When you work together, you guys are much stronger than either one of you alone could ever be.
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In a band concert on the evening of July 17th, the choir stood on the stage in still silence for more than 10 minutes during an accompanied reading of "The Giving Tree." The familiar children's book was read aloud while the band played a fun arrangement.
Since we were still very visible to the audience, the members of the choir were not allowed to scratch our noses, text, sit down, yawn, or sneakily whisper to our neighbor.
The only thing left to do was listen to the performance. It'd been a few years since I read the story, and as I heard the repeated phrase "...And the tree was happy" I had a small epiphany (I'm prone to these, as you might be able to tell). We all need to be the Giving Tree.
The relationship between the generous tree and her lucky beneficiary is not a healthy one. He comes to her, whines, and then takes her gifts without a word of gratitude. However, the tree demonstrates some very good traits: selfless giving, and finding joy in the success of someone she cares about.
A few days after the concert, I was able to organize that epiphany into something a little more coherent: When we are in any kind of relationship--siblings, best friends, boyfriend and girlfriend--we should be selfless, and concern ourselves more about the happiness of the other person than our own. When the other person gets promoted at work, receives a high grade, wins an award, buys their favorite food for lunch or gets to sleep in late, if we can find happiness for them, our happiness potential doubles--we get joy from our own happy experiences and also in celebration of others'.
This principle is especially awesome if it's applied (equally) in a marriage. When each person is doing their best to serve the other person. When serving, they're striving for the other's happiness, and as long as both people are doing that, both people can find simple joy in small, everyday successes--theirs and their spouse's.
I know that both these principles are MUCH easier said than done. However,I also know that the foundation of these ideas are rooted in eternal truths; equal partnership in marriage and selfless, Christlike service to all our fellow men. Keeping in mind the Incredibles and the Giving Tree can help us remember that it's not so complicated as some people make it. Like many good things, it will take practice, but will be worth it if we can strengthen friendships, relationships, and marriages.
