It's Friday night. Instead of going out with friends or watching a movie, I went to the hospital for a night shift. At 2am, I'm starting to drag. Someone hits the call light--the patient had an accident. That makes it his 3rd of the night. 4 nurses go to the room to assist in changing the sheets while the patient lies essentially immobile in bed. Everyone's crossing their fingers that this will be his last accident the shift but we all know it will likely happen at least once more before we all go home.
It's the following Friday--9:15pm. A recently bed-bound patient wants to take a shower for the first time in a month. He's been limited by the fact that he has 2 broken legs. My nurse, a CNA, and I all do our best to move him to a wheelchair and then to the shower, trying to squeeze around narrow spaces between the bed, the bathroom, and the wheelchair without falling, hurting his leg, or knocking over his wound vac. When we've finally got him to the shower chair, his affected foot is red and swollen from the change in position, there's towels on the floor, and we're all panting.
Saturday night, my shift started less than an hour ago. I come into the room and a patient is holding her feeding tube, having just pulled out several inches of it out of her nose. She's confused and asking for scissors to cut it off. We slowly push the tube back into her nose and turn off the feeding. We'll have to get the placement checked by radiology in the morning.
All of these situations are 1) not uncommon and 2) easy times to ask myself: "What was I thinking, getting into nursing?"
Although the things I experience are not usually glamorous or fun, I wouldn't trade them.
The first patient thanked all of the nurses every time we came in to change him--embarrassed, but also happy we were helping him.
The second, although both of his legs were in severe pain for the next 12 hours, was smiling when he got in and out of the shower and said "It was worth the pain. That was the best shower in the world."
The third: I was in the room later that night, sitting and holding her hand as she told me about her children and saying "They are so full of love." For some reason, it touched me deeply and I choked back tears, glad for the darkness of the room.
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In Matthew 25, Jesus told his disciples that they had given him drink, clothing, food, and taken him in. When they questioned him on this claim, he told them: "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
I have the opportunity to take care of helpless, sick, and weakened people. While it comes with much work, what some call "disgusting" tasks, and truly endless charting, it is humbling. My patients have provided me with wise advice, many laughs, and the blessing of experiencing something amazing as I give aid to an individual who is truly incapacitated, who could not help themselves.
As I near the end of my schooling, I feel overwhelmed at the fact that I'm almost done but also that I've accomplished what I have. I feel scared and intimidated to be a real nurse and take responsibility for the lives of people. I pray that God will be with me as I take care of his wonderful children. Thanks to all of you who believed in me, encouraged me, and prayed for me. Special thanks goes to my mother, who identified the nurse in me, and to the Savior, for being the perfect example of a loving caregiver.