This is an old essay of mine stashed in Google Docs. I wrote it when I still had my wisdom teeth in, "Call Me Maybe" was yet to become popular, and I was still years from my first kiss. It wasn't written for school, just what was on my mind back then. Let's see if when I was 15 I'd already figured it all out...
The Elements of ‘Like’
‘Like like’. A crush. Fancy, highly attracted to, infatuated with. I use all these words to describe the feeling young teenage girls have for boys. Notice I did not put “in love with” on that list. That is because I don’t think many teenagers are truly in love, simply because their undeveloped brains and overdeveloped emotions aren’t capable of true love. But they ARE experts at being romantic, twitterpated goons. I wondered--what does a crush on someone actually entail? You think they’re good-looking? “Sweet cute funny and nice!” as many 13-18 year old girls will gush to you? I’m going to attempt to explain all or most of the feelings that girls feel towards a guy when they really like him. The four categories those feelings fall under are: admiration, devotion, amusement and care.
Admiration
One big part of liking a guy is admiring him. You’re impressed by his knowledge in x subject, you think he looks especially adorable in a blue button-up, he’s a gentlemen, which you LOVE, he knows how to carry on a conversation, he does well with kids. All these feelings are ones of admiration. Admiration is defined as: ‘to regard with approval, respect or satisfaction.’ When you like this guy, you approve of him maybe because he’s a gentleman. You respect his knowledge of subject x. His cuteness in that button-up gives you satisfaction. All these positive feelings make you happy with the guy overall. This is the first and perhaps foremost aspect of ‘like’.
Devotion
Once you really admire this dude, you develop a sense of devotion towards him, whether he knows it or not. Your friends may refer to this innocent individual as ‘your man’. They may join you in your indignation when some other chick is flirting with your man. Your parents and other guys don’t seem to understand one thing: the sense of "mine" you feel towards this guy, even if he doesn’t even know that you like him. He gets a girlfriend, you’re sad. He breaks up with one, rejoice! Your man is free once again!
Another part of the devotion is the sense of loyalty you feel. Your sister makes a crack about your man’s performance in a basketball game and you want to defend him. You hear about something stupid he did in freshman year, you dismiss it with “Everybody has a past!” It’s a little bit ridiculous, but hey! You’re a high-schooler. Wisdom and reasoning weren’t in the job description.
Amusement
I don’t know how everyone is, but I know that my man has to be able to make me laugh. Remember aforementioned “Cute sweet funny and nice!” boy? Funny is high on the list. Often the first way a girl starts to notice a guy is if he makes her laugh. And then once you’re feeling admiration and devotion, it’s like those feelings sometimes fog up your sense of humor and almost everything this hobo says is enough to send you ROFL. Most things about this guy either entertain you or amuse you, which is part of the reason you love spending time around him--it’s just so FUN!
Care
I don’t know how to put this feeling into words very well...Concern sounds sad, and interest sounds...scientific. But care is what you feel. You care whether or not you look good when he’s around. You care about his welfare. If he gets hurt or is having a bad day, it gives you a sense of sadness. You care if he doesn’t text you back, if he got the grade he was hoping for, what’s going on in his life? Above almost everything else, you care what he thinks of you. Does he think of you? Does he think you’re funny, smart, cute interesting? That’s what you really care about.
‘Care’, amusement, devotion and admiration. Those four feelings combined can be quite the experience. You care about this funny guy, feeling devoted to and in admiration of him. Add a little dash of female hormones and BAM. You’ve got one twitterpated girl on your hands.
So boys....In case you wanted to know how a girl feels when she likes someone, now you do. She’s admiring, devoted, entertained and she cares. And it’s amazing how powerful that mix can be.
