Provo Probs

To Those Who Abide in the Lovely City of Provo, Utah
This is a great city in which to live. However, there are a few hazards you should look out for:

1. BYU Couples

Characteristics of BYU couples:
Always wearing BYU apparel of some kind--hats, sweatshirt, lanyards, bags, etc. (See below photo)
Gaze into each other's eyes ALL THE TIME. (See below photo)
Rub noses in public and kiss. All the time.
NEVER stop holding hands. 
(NOTE: THIS IS NOT PHOTOSHOPPED. I took this picture while I was at work, where I am lucky enough to see a large number of these specimens)

Safety precautions to be taken: Walk around with your eyes closed, or better yet, stay indoors at all times.

2. Icy sidewalks

It seems like nobody salts the sidewalks in Provo. This results in some awkward looking walking. Or you can be a crazy person and GO JOGGING AT 10PM ON ICE. Because that's perfectly safe. *rolls eyes* I have no idea why or how people do this on slick ice without dying.

Safety precautions to be taken: Wear good boots. Bring around a portable hairdryer and melt everything as you walk. Or, better yet, stay indoors at all times.

3. Mormons EVERYWHERE.

Don't get me wrong--Mormons are great (I happen to be one). But there is a ridiculously large number of Mormons in Provo. I mean, they DID settle the state of Utah so it's understandable that there's a remnant, and there is a huge Mormon university (BYU) in Provo, but still. Lots of these Mormons running around. Talking about Primary lessons and their home teachers in the grocery store and elders wandering through Walgreens. It's a whole other world out here. People would think you were crazy if you were anywhere but Mormonville.

Safety precautions to be taken: Go to the activities they invite you to--free casserole and Jello! Who could say no? If that doesn't work: Can't beat 'em? Join 'em. I like being part of the huge Mormon family. BUT, if you don't join, that's good too. But to all my fellow Mormons: NON MEMBERS ARE CHILDREN OF GOD TOO. Just cuz they're not baptized doesn't mean they're evil. Love them and treat them how they should be treated.

Good luck, Provo-ites.