I Stand for Motherhood

Friends, I'm in nursing school on the way to being a nurse, which is so exciting. I love taking care of patients and learning the science behind medications and interventions.

But.

The other day at the hospital, a very young patient was on the floor and I overheard them crying and later saw them being taken across the hall in a little red wagon, IV pole being rolled along behind.

In that instant, I realized something about myself that hit me stronger than most things in my life have.
Although being a nurse is an exciting, challenging, and rewarding profession, there's one thing that I would choose over nursing 10,000 times over.




Motherhood.

When I was younger, before I know what I wanted to do, I would respond to the question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" with: "A mom."

And guys, that's still true.

I think it's my own mom's example of steady, level-headed, kind, compassionate, and wise mothering that gives me such a drive to have and raise kids of my own. I cannot wait to have babies and change diapers and mash bananas, buy a lot of Goldfish and Cheerios, potty train, teach them to read and deal with obstinate 7 year-olds, self-conscious 13 year-olds, and stressed out 20 year-olds.



So..Working as a registered nurse? Saving lives? Awesome.

Working as a mother? Creating lives? Indescribable.

Why I Hate Dating

I usually don't like dates. 

Before you mark me as bitter/heartbroken/never asked out, read the rest of this post.

Of the dates I've been on, there's been good ones and and not so good ones. There's one huge difference between the two types, and behind that difference lies the reason I often don't enjoy the idea of going on dates.

A couple of guys in my ward saw me, maybe introduced themselves to me, and then asked for my number (or got it off the ward directory) and we went on a date. Both of them didn't know at the time that I was 17, and lost interest quickly after learning that I wasn't old enough to vote. I don't blame them--I was young. However, if we had gotten to know each other in a casual, friendly way before they asked me on a date--laced with romantic expectations, weird formalities, and pressure to impress and be attractive, then they would have learned my age, not asked me out, and we could have a friendship, one that didn't smack of "I was interested but not anymore but I guess we can hang out ." 

Later, once I'd turned 18, I had the good date experience. Again, it was a guy from my ward, but he didn't simply meet me, ask for my number, and ask me out. At a few different group events, we ended up spending a few hours just talking to each other; about our families, our majors, different life experiences, opinions on social issues--all the stuff that actually matters! After I was starting to feel like this guy actually knew me and I knew him, too, he asked me on a date. Because we'd already spent time together, our date didn't feel like an interview--we already knew the basics about the other person, and we could have a relaxed, natural conversation. It was probably the best first date I've been on.

We've been told by Elder Dallin H. Oaks that 'hanging out' is not the best way to get to know each other:

"The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out."

I agree that going on actual one-on-one dates is important when you're trying to make progress in a romantic relationship. I also think, though, that spending time with people in a very relaxed, casual setting before you ask them out can be a good thing. Important personal details like someone's age, impending mission calls, missionaries they're waiting for, personality, and life plans (important factors in a possible relationship, if that's what you're looking for), can be acquired before you spend time, money, and effort on an evening that may or may not lead to a second date and could also just be really awkward.

I should probably revise my earlier statement--I don't hate dates. What I hate is the tense first-date feeling that happens when you hardly know the person you're going out with. I hate that people get written off after getting their hopes up because they didn't pass the first-date 'interview', or they figure out that the person they were interested in is leaving on a mission in a month. 

Moral of the story: get to know people. If you don't end up married to each other, that's A-OK. Making new friends is always a blessing!

EDIT: The point of this post isn't that I'm mad at those guys for not wanting to date me once they figured out I wasn't 18--I was simply using that story to illustrate the possible situations that arise from going on dates with someone you don't know that well. Just wanted to clear that up.

Fighting Robots and Selling Apples

What do this:

and this:

have in common?

A few months ago, I participated in a class discussion in church about families. We talked how husbands and wives rely on each other for support, comfort, and love. As the discussion was closing, I had a small epiphany, which I had the opportunity to discuss with a friend later that evening.
This is what had popped into my mind:

Evil robot running around the city, wreaking havoc. Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl on the sidewalk, arguing about the impending battle:

Mr. Incredible: "...I'm not s-strong enough."
Elastigirl:"If we work together, you won't have to be."

It's a simple but still very important principle. As an individual, it is very difficult to raise, protect, provide for, and take care of a family. One person--mom or dad--would have a hard time doing it by themselves. There are single parents all over the world who somehow manage to juggle it all, but it's not an easy task in any sense of the word.

However, for those who are married, who do have the blessing of a teammate, co-council, and partner in raising the kids, taking care of the house, doing the shopping, helping with homework, making meals, etc, should remember two things: 1) You don't have to go at it alone, so never consider yourself weak if you ask for help, and 2) Your spouse doesn't have to do it alone, either, so always always offer to help and do all you can when they ask for your assistance. When you work together, you guys are much stronger than either one of you alone could ever be. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a band concert on the evening of July 17th, the choir stood on the stage in still silence for more than 10 minutes during an accompanied reading of "The Giving Tree." The familiar children's book was read aloud while the band played a fun arrangement. 
Since we were still very visible to the audience, the members of the choir were not allowed to scratch our noses, text, sit down, yawn, or sneakily whisper to our neighbor.

The only thing left to do was listen to the performance. It'd been a few years since I read the story, and as I heard the repeated phrase "...And the tree was happy" I had a small epiphany (I'm prone to these, as you might be able to tell). We all need to be the Giving Tree.

The relationship between the generous tree and her lucky beneficiary is not a healthy one. He comes to her, whines, and then takes her gifts without a word of gratitude. However, the tree demonstrates some very good traits: selfless giving, and finding joy in the success of someone she cares about.

A few days after the concert, I was able to organize that epiphany into something a little more coherent: When we are in any kind of relationship--siblings, best friends, boyfriend and girlfriend--we should be selfless, and concern ourselves more about the happiness of the other person than our own. When the other person gets promoted at work, receives a high grade, wins an award, buys their favorite food for lunch or gets to sleep in late, if we can find happiness for them, our happiness potential doubles--we get joy from our own happy experiences and also in celebration of others'.

This principle is especially awesome if it's applied (equally) in a marriage. When each person is doing their best to serve the other person. When serving, they're striving for the other's happiness, and as long as both people are doing that, both people can find simple joy in small, everyday successes--theirs and their spouse's.

I know that both these principles are MUCH easier said than done. However,I also know that the foundation of these ideas are rooted in eternal truths; equal partnership in marriage and selfless, Christlike service to all our fellow men. Keeping in mind the Incredibles and the Giving Tree can help us remember that it's not so complicated as some people make it. Like many good things, it will take practice, but will be worth it if we can strengthen friendships, relationships, and marriages.

On Why I Give Up

There are so many quotes on how you should never, ever, ever, give up.

There are some things you should never give up on--your family, your faith, your friends, your husband, your wife, your kids, your education.

However, giving up is not always a bad thing. I try to make a habit of giving up every once in a while.

Some of you may be saying: "WHY would you WANT to give up; plan to give up? You need to stick with your goals! Your dreams, your aspirations!"

To that, I respond: My dreams, goals, and aspirations are the reason I give up.

I give up the opportunity to do fun things so I can stay in and study. I give up clothes that aren't modest so I can show respect to myself and to God. I give up time to go to church. I give up comfort when I exercise so I can stay healthy. I give up money to pay for schooling. I give up a cheerful mood to spend time with a friend who may need someone to mourn with them. I'll give up sleep to go to early-morning clinicals. I'll give up my off-track to continue through nursing school. None of this is easy.

Giving up is not always a bad thing.

In order to realize our goals for the future, we need to do hard things. We'll have to say no to something we want now because we know that doing so will help us gain something more important.

We don't want our dreams to remain dreams--we want them to become a reality.

Giving up is hard. The comfortable--what we're used to, what we like, enjoy, or care about--is not something of which we want to let go. However, if our hands are full of quarters, how can we reach out and grab hold of a $100 bill?

It's hard to see with a broader perspective, to have the knowledge that you will be better because you gave up. It's a leap of faith, but the more you do it, the more you'll know it's the right thing to do.

Daddy

I wrote a long list of reasons why my mom is freaking legit for Mother's Day.

Just because I didn't do this on Father's Day doesn't mean my dad is not legit.

I've been thinking lately about all the reasons I appreciate my father. I think one of the most important things he did was help me learn how important the Gospel is. He makes family scripture study and prayer and family home evening and church attendance a huge priority. His example was essential to my spiritual development and he continues to be a rock in my life when I need advice or support.

Another reason I love my dad is because he always tells me I'm beautiful. It seems shallow when I say it, but knowing my dad thinks I'm beautiful gives me a special confidence in myself that can't be taken away. Closely tied to this is the fact that he always expects me to be modest. He was never harsh or bossy about it, but let me know in a gentle, non-confrontational way, and that communicated his opinion much more effectively than yelling or or scolding would.

I used to come to him for permission for different things and one of those times, I asked him something and he told me that he trusted me to make my own decisions on those things. It scared me, but I knew that I could do it because he'd instilled in me a strong sense of right and wrong. I feel the influence of my Dad daily as I choose what movies to watch, what friends to have, what books to read, and so much more. Not because he micromanaged everything I did or said, but because he had a strong testimony of what is good, and wants good things for me and I see that now that I've experience with trial and error and have seen that in a lot of situations, his way was the best way all along.

My dad is really smart. I love that about him. I can come to him with questions about almost anything and if he doesn't know the answer, which isn't common, he'll usually find it out pretty quickly and let me know. He helps all of us with schoolwork, and he encouraged me to grow my mind. He never used the fact that I was a girl as a reason for me to not pursue a higher education and pick a good major that was marketable. When I was applying for the nursing program and waiting to hear back, he believed in me more than I did. He always tells me that I'm brilliant and gorgeous and can do anything I set my mind to. I'm so grateful for his faith in me.

I could write a lot more than this about my wonderful dad but I'm going to stop now. 

Dad, I love you. Thanks for everything.

Confessions of a Non-Partier

College, friends. It's a thing.

Movies, books, media; society in general presents college as kind of a non-stop party. Drinking, dancing, flirting, kissing, fraternities, sororities, getting busted by the cops, having dramatic and romantic adventures. Pretty awesome.

Of course, here at BYU-Idaho, the number of students who get THAT crazy is significantly lower than at a non-church school. It still happens, but on a much smaller (and more discreet) scale.

Then there are the people who go out every single Friday and Saturday night. Whether it's to a bonfire, some off-campus party, dancing, etc.-- nothing against the rules--just always SOMEthing. 



And then there's me.



I used to have a problem with this, think something was wrong with me: I should be 'out'! Partying! Having soo much fun!

Then I realized a very important thing about myself.

I'm not a partier. 

I love having fun, laughing, eating (yesssss), being with friends, playing games, going places, etc., but I don't like being in a big group that I don't really know, trying ineptly to flirt with some guy I just met or impress a bunch of people I'll never see again. I'm not going to go into the 'show-off circle' at a dance or do something crazy all in the name of 'living a little'. 
I have the most fun doing something relaxed like playing games or cooking brownies or buying pizza (food is happiness).


(I just wanted an excuse to put this ^ in a blog.)



I've chosen to stop making comments like "I don't have a life" "I never do anything fun" "I'm boring". That kind of comment is negative and only serves to reinforce the idea that the only way to be 'cool' is to be and act a certain way. Friends, that idea isn't true. 

Just because you do homework on a Saturday night (like I do), or don't have the sweetest dance moves (or any dance moves), or just wanna curl up with a pan of brownies and watch some (a lot of) Netflix after a long, stressful school week does not mean that you're a social weirdo. It means that we can do those "boring" things together, if you want company.

Moral of the story: Know thyself. And to thine own self to be true. And eat pizza and brownies, bros. Because...Yumminess. And hey--WE [most of us, at least] ARE IN COLLEGE TO LEARN. So yeah, do your homework every freaking night of the week.

57 Reasons Why My Mom is Freakin' Legit (with #Hashtags)

 My mom.

She's kind of insane.

Insanely cool, that is.

Here is a list of some of the things that I love about my mom. She amazes, inspires, and teaches me constantly. #RoleModel

1. She had ten kids (no epidurals)
2. Raised them--#BeastMode #ForLife #MomMode
3. Homeschooled us--she's crazy
4. Makes 6 loaves of bread every single week for the past 25 years
5. Makes huge batches of granola all the time (and it's dang healthy, too)
6. Makes peanut butter
7. Knows how to make home made yogurt (weird, but good)
8. Can sew literally anything
9. Tried to teach me to sew some things
10. Stayed patient when I whined, cried, and ripped out the same rows of stitches 5 times 
11. NEVER EVER EVER got involved with any of her kids' drama. THANK YOU SO MUCH MOM. 
12. She's seriously the smartest woman I know. She took physics for FUN in college, guys. And her grade? "An A, of course." (In her own words.(: ) I often make fun of elementary ed majors but ya'll, guess what major the smartest woman in the world chose? Elementary ed! And rocked it, of course.
13. She is not only the smartest woman I know, but she still learns all the time. She's constantly reading all kinds of books on literally everything. (A few great ones she suggested to me: The Happiness Project, Mindset, and Christy)
14. She was so so so encouraging to me throughout all of my schooling. 
15. A lot of you guys know how much I want to be a nurse. Guess whose idea that was? She suggested it to me several times before I finally realized that #MotherKnowsBest
16. She never made anything surface-y a priority. I never ever felt self conscious about my clothes, body, hair, or makeup because she never talked about those things. She didn't talk about beauty a lot, not because she didn't think I was beautiful, but because she knows that there's much more to a person than how they look. 
17. She's so practical it's crazy. She's seriously no-nonsense and very honest. I HATE being talked down to and when people sugar coat things and guess who has never done that to me? #MyMom. When  women try to be super-sensitive and overly sweet all the time I'm like "WHERE'S MOM WHEN I NEED HER." She gets straight to the point and it's the best ever.
18. She is so humble!! SO HUMBLE! 
19. She can dance, guys. You would never guess it but she's got moves. Granted, they're 80s moves but she got 5 stars on Just Dance 4. And looked good doing it.
20. She's sassy. She would never own up to it ....but where do you think I got my sass from?
21. She's super funny. 
22. She taught me to love salad. Especially with great tomatoes.
23. She made health a priority. Natural health, too. I've never had any prescribed medication. The recommended cure-all for literally anything was: a cold pack, a warm corn bag, garlic, vitamin C, Neosporin, and sometimes Tylenol. I'm very rarely sick and when I am, it lasts a day or two. #Legit
24. She instilled me with a strong conviction about...basically everything important.
25. She is a wonderful example of honesty, kindness, passion, hard work, patience, unconditional love, unending selfless
26. She's a beautiful singer and made me want to sing, too
27. She never gossips
28. She made me memorize things when I was young, thus allowing me to discover my talent for it and 
29. She made me play the piano
30. Taught me how to clean a house
31. Taught me how to take care of a baby
32. Taught me how important family is
33. Taught me how important the gospel is
34. Taught me how to cook
35. Knew exactly how much lenience and how much discipline I needed to feel both trusted and worried about
36. Taught me how to do laundry
37. Listens every time I call her to tell her about a test or a roommate or money or advice or boys or recipes or when I'm just feeling bad
38. Tells me I'm beautiful
39. Gave me my curls. (:
40. She's so freaking thrifty. I definitely learned that one from her. #CostcoTrips #BuyItInBulk #PricePerOunce
41. Taught me to drive. (: That was an adventure...
42. Encouraged me to go to college and helped me make it there
43. Provided me with all kinds of wonderful learning experiences that I would never have had without her
44. Helped me get my first job #HarrisTeeterWin
45. Taught me how to grocery shop
46. Gave me a strong appreciation for good ice cream #BreyersVanilla
47. Gave me a strong appreciation for dairy products in general...yum.
48. Taught me how to make cheese on toast. And now that I like tomatoes again...#TomatoesOnToast
49. Taught me how to do the dishes and made me do them. :/
50. Didn't punish me for being late for curfew...#Thanks
51. Put up with so many of my tears. For so many dumb dumb things. Geometry comes to mind first...
52. Never stops working
53. Never stops teaching
54. 18 years of free haircuts (She's really good at them)
55. Never stops loving
56. Never stops being the wisest person I know
57. Taught me what matters most

Mom, I love you so much. I miss you a lot, too. I think about you all the time and I love that I can call you and you listen and give advice even when I'm an irrational 18 year old (which is basically all the time). Thanks for being everything that you are. Happy mothers day. (: